Crazy Rap (Colt 45 & 2 Zig Zags)

Wait a minute, man, ay check this out, man (let him tell it)
It was this blind man, right? It was this blind man, right?
He was feelin' his way down the street with his stick, right? (Yeah)
Ay, he walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'? (Fish market?)
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said
"Whoo, good mornin', ladies"

You like that shit, man? (That was pretty good)
Ay man, I've got a gang of that shit, man
Hell yeah, I'll tell you what, my man on the guitar
Ay, fool on the drum (that right)
Hey, just, hey, everybody just crowd around the mic
I'll tell you all these motherfuckin' jokes I got (ay, clap your hands, man)
So first I'ma start off like this, ay, help me sing it, homeboy, come on

Said Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby, that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burn, we can take our turn singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech & Chong, and sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell, flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims
So roll, roll, the '83 Cadillac Coupe Deville
If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my Caddy will

Well, it was just sundown in a small white town, they call it Eastside Palmdale (well)
When the Afroman walked through the white land, houses went up for sale (hell)
Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap CDs when I met a little girl named Jan (Jan)
I let her ride in my Caddy 'cause I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Ku Klux Klan

We fucked on the bed, fucked on the floor (whoo), fucked so long I grew a fuckin' afro
Then I fucked to the left (left), fucked to the right (right)
She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white
I thought to myself, "Sheeba-sheeba, got my ass lookin' like a zebra"
I put on my clothes, and I was on my way, until her Daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet

So I ran, I jumped out the back window, but her daddy, he was waitin' with a two-by-four
Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right
The motherfucker whooped my ass all night (damn)
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad, that's the best damn pussy I ever had
Got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine (whoo)
I'm gonna fuck that bitch just one more time

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby, that's all we need (come on)
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed (uh)
And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech & Chong, and sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell, flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims (come on)
So roll, roll, the '83 Cadillac Coupe Deville
If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my Caddy will, uh

I met this lady in Hollywood
She had green hair, but damn she looked good
I took her to my house 'cause she was fine
But she whooped out a dick that was bigger than mine (yeah!)
I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African
I fucked her once (once), I fucked her twice (twice)
I ate that pussy like shrimp-fried rice

Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya (tell ya)
I met a woman in the heart of Australia
Had a big butt and big titties too, so I hopped in her ass like a Kangaroo
See I met this woman from Hawaii, stuck it in her ass and she said "Aii"
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch, then her titties busted open with Hawaiian punch
Met Colonel Sanders wife in the state of Kentucky
She said, "I'd fry some chicken if you'd just fuck me"
I came in her mouth, it was a crisis, I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby, that's all we need (uh, come on)
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed (uh)
And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech & Chong (ay, wait a minute, man, check this out, ay)
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee (Tennessee)
Her titties were filled with Hennessy
That country music really drove me crazy
But I rode that ass and said, "Yes, miss Daisy"
Met this lady in Oklahoma, put that pussy in a coma
Met this lady in Michigan, I can't wait 'til I fuck that bitch again

Met a real black girl down in South Carolina
Fucked her 'til she turned into a white albino
Fucked this hooker in Iowa, I fucked her on credit, so I owe her
Fucked this girl down in Georgia, came in her mouth, man, I thought I told ya
Met this beautiful sexy ho, she just ran across the border of Mexico
Fine young thing, said her name's Marina, I wrapped her up just like a hot tortilla (what that?)
I wanna get married, but I can't afford it, I know I'ma cry when she get deported

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby, that's all we need (come on)
We can go to the park after dark, smoke on that tumbleweed (uh)
And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech & Chong, and sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through the Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims (come on)
So roll, roll, '83 Cadillac Coupe Deville
If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my Caddy will