The Best Dad

Please, sir (shh, shh, come on, how many times have I told you?)
Please sir (shh, shh, Durpleton gentlemen)
Please sir, please sir, please sir

Please, sir (please stop)
(Can't you see I'm trying to read) I don't wanna be a dum-dum
(What is it you could possibly need) I just wanna make you proud
(I wish you were) wanna make you say out loud
(A clever baby boy) I'm your clever baby boy

Oh boy, dad, let's play, let me show you all these toys
I made, do you hate it when I make a lot of noise? (Not now, do your homework)
But hey, maybe someday you and I can have a heart-to-heart
Once I learn how to control my fart

Ah, Durpleton, that is disgusting
No son of mine is gonna, oh

I will not say anything nice
Until you do the things I require
That you do

(Uh, Durpleton, no) I still love you
You're the best dad
And you're handsome and smart
Just please say something from the heart