While I'M In The Wind

I got this fear inside and it's crippling
That you'll think more about the times we didn't spend
And you might cherish the photos I'm not in
Or think back to a childhood that I missed
You dropped me off at LAX
Your mother said you cried in the car again
So I'm standing there at the baggage desk
But I got more in my heart than I can afford to check in
Be back 'til Thursday, then I'll jet
And for a little mind, it makes no sense
Why I rarely tuck you in to bed
And I wish that I did, but

I hope you understand someday
I hope you understand someday, yeah

Think back to the day when you turned three
I was off writing songs in the OC
In a dark room twelve thousand miles away
Just to pay for the candles on your cake
So I hope that when you're twenty-three
It's not me that fills your therapy
Did I build you a house when you wanted a home
Where no one says, "Daddy, don't go"

I hope you understand someday
That what I did, I did for you
I hope you understand someday
I only did the best I could
And I know I probably made mistakes
Probably worked harder than I should
But I hope you understand someday
That what I did, I did for you

So what is it about airplanes that feels so emotional?
I'm sitting here in a chair that's too small
And a heart that can't hold it all
And the thought that this might not be worth what it cost us
Will land in my tear ducts in about three gin and tonics
It's when the tooth fairy calls, and the school plays that I missed
And the prayers before bed I'll regret that I never said
And the fights, the first steps, the 5 AM kiss
All the gold's in the dirt
While I'm in the wind
While I'm in the wind