Jesus Went To Heaven

Hanging out atop that cross with one last breath of air
Jesus checked his watch and said I think I'm outta here
They took him down and stored him in a big ol dusty cave
And in the morning sun he got up and flew away
“Come and see the place where he was
He ain’t lying there no more because…”

Jesus went to heaven with an ak-47
Walked right up and kicked down the pearly doors
The he preached about the ways 
We should ostracize the gays
And he went and blew away the immigrants and poors

Then JC gathered all the folks with businesses and cash and said
There's refugees aplenty how come they aren't paying taxes
You need second homes, tummy tucks and fancy cars
And they’ve been doing nothing while you all are working hard
Don't you give your riches to the poor
If they want it, they can work some more

Jesus went to heaven with an ak-47
Walked right up and kicked down the pearly doors
The he preached about the ways 
We should ostracize the gays
And he went and blew away the immigrants and poors

It isn't fair to you to have these beggars in the world 
And isn't fair to you if men like men and girls like girls
You don't have to tolerate what other people do
I've but one commandment: only love the ones like you
Help the ones in need when they're in pain
Only if there's something to be gained 

Jesus went to heaven with an ak-47
Walked right up and kicked down the pearly doors
The he preached about the ways 
We oughta ostracize the gays
And he went and blew away the immigrants and poors

Looking at the carnage Jesus lit a cigarette
And he climbed the hill of bodies and he stuck a flag in it
Then he said it’s finished, and he rested for a day
Then he said: God bless the USA