Dk Rap (Where Are They Now?)

Here we, here we
Here we go again

So they're finally back
It's been a long time
They're bringing you a brand-new rhyme
You loved them all in DK 64
And I bet you're wondering where are they now

Huh, DK
Donkey Kong

He's the leader of the bunch
You know his name, but behind the scenes
He's not the same
After DK 64, he got into guns
Now he hunts endangered species just for fun

But his coconut gun still fires in spurts
If he shoots ya
You'll probably die
He's older, meaner, and wealthier too
He's the first member of the DK group

Huh, DK
He loves guns

Tiny Kong's back, so listen up dudes
She can shrink in size to suit her mood
Now you may have heard that the bees are dying
Well, the truth about Tiny is horrifying
She's killing all the bees
She's killing all the bees

We don't know why, but she's killing all the bees
She can float through the air and climb up trees
But Tiny Kong's a murderer
Of bees

Huh, DK
Goodbye bees

He has a funny face
His limbs are long
But Lanky never felt like he belonged
He earned a degree in a college town
And decided to work as a sex ed clown
Now he has a penis puppet and a vulva puppet too
And he'll give a creepy lecture just for you

Huh, DK
Just for you

And next up, Diddy Kong hits the stage
Just like Gary Coleman, he does not age
His face is youthful, like Peter Pan's
But he's a bitter old bastard who hates his fans
He's angry, horny
Libido's wild
But women won't date him, 'cause he looks like a child
That might explain his job, which you won't forget
He blogs for DiddyPepeTrumpMRA.net

Huh, DK
He needs love

And then there's Chunky
He's dead

Huh, DK
Chunky's dead
DK
Now the song is over

Come on, Cranky, take it to the fridge
Cranky?
Aw man, Cranky's dead too
Cranky's in the fridge
Oh, oh no
Wow, that's terrible