Hippies In Calgary

A few years back, me and ol' John worked the Calgary rodeo
We were hangin' 'round town with nothing to do and nowhere else to go
Now cowboys are known for their fun-loving ways, pranks, and practical jokes
And I'll never forget the night we impressed a bunch of them Calgary folks

Now just down the hall in the ol' hotel where me and old John stayed
Were some school marms, they'd come up from Dallas to party for a couple of days
Now these old gals was fancy dressers, they had wigs and beads and all
So we put on the hair and took off our boots and boogied on down the hall

You could never tell we were cowboys, we were real lookin' hippies, by heck
With long hair, bare feet and old t-shirts, and beads around our neck
Well, shoot we just had to show someone, so we boogied on down to the lounge
There was cowboys and gents in nice old suits and ladies in long evening gowns

Well, we found us a table and pulled up a chair and lit up them Bull Durham smokes
The smoke filled the air, everyone there thought these hippies were smokin' dope
Now Leonard McCravy and old Ronnie Rosland were sitting two tables away
So we did what we thought that hippies would do when we noticed them lookin' our way

We'd wave our long hair and roll back our eyes and suck on them homemade smokes
Say stuff like "Cool" and "Yeah, man, wow", we put on one heck of a show
Now Ronnie and Leonard, they'd been there a while, so they weren't feeling much pain
And I reckon they figured they'd have 'em some fun with these two hippie freaks that walked in

Well, the bar got deathly quiet and these cowboys come strollin' our way
Those city folks knew it wouldn't be long 'til the battle got under way
Now, Ronnie, he came right over to me and he looked me right square in the eye
Said, "Hey there, boy, what's that stuff you're smokin'?"
I said, "Here, man, give it a try"

Well, that didn't make him too happy and then when I told him to bug out
He blinked and snorted like a mad Brahman bull and frothed and foamed at the mouth
Just about then, I looked at old John and his face had turned a beet red
'Cause Leonard had grabbed him right by the throat with plans to tear off his head

Ronnie reached out with a huge left hand and grabbed a hold of my hair
With his right fist cocked, he said, "Now, boy, you better start sayin' your prayers"
He gave a yank and my wig come off and lay limp there across his hand
A more stupefied look I've never seen on the face of any man

Well, he dropped the thing like a poisonous snake and stared at it there on the floor
And then he looked up at me and saw who I was and laughed and gave out a roar
Well, this story doesn't have any moral, it was just one mighty good gag
But I sighed with relief Ronnie didn't swing first before he pulled off my wig