Alice'S Adventures Under Ground: “Which Way? Which Way?”

Alice: Which way? Which way?
Now I'm opening up like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye feet!

(The White Rabbit enters stage right running fast)

White Rabbit: (Terror) Oh! The Duchess, the Duchess!

Alice: Sir!

(The White Rabbit starts violently and runs into the darkness of stage left)

Alice: Have I been changed in the night? Who am I?
Four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen
And four times seven is 
London is the capital of Paris
And Paris is the capital of Rome
And Rome 
Où est ma chatte? Where is my cat?

(The White Rabbit enters stage left running fast)

White Rabbit: (Horror) The Duchess! The Duchess! (Exits stage right)

(A Footman with the face of a fish runs on and knocks loudly on a door. A Footman with the face of a frog opens it. Both have powdered hair Curling all over their heads. The Frog-Footman hands over a great letter nearly as large as himself)

Fish-Footman: (Very Grand) For the Duchess: An invitation
From the Queen to play croquet

Frog-Footman: (Pomp) From the Queen: An invitation
For the Duchess to play croquet

(The Footmen bow low and their curls get entangled. The Fish-Footman exits
The door opens and a large plate flies out grazing the Footman's nose and smashes. Walls part to reveal the Duchess's kitchen. The Duchess is Nursing a baby and the cook is stirring. A large cat grins)

Alice: Why does your cat grin like that?

The Duchess: (Uncaring) It's a Cheshire Cat, and that's why. Pig!

Alice: I didn't know that Cheshire-Cats could grin

The Duchess: They all can, and most of em do

(The cook throws fire-irons, saucepans, plates and dishes at the Duchess and the baby. The Duchess takes no notice when they hit her. The baby is screaming)

Alice: (Alarmed) There goes his nose!

(The Duchess begins nursing the child again, singing a lullaby to it, violently shaking it at the end of every line)

The Cook: Speak roughly to your little boy
and beat him when he sneezes
He only does it to annoy
because he knows it teases

Baby 1,2,3,4: Wow! Wow! Wow!

(The Duchess tosses the baby violently up and down)

The Duchess: I speak severely to my boy
I beat him when he sneezes
For he can thoroughly enjoy
the pepper when he pleases

Baby 1,2,3,4: Wow! Wow! Wow!