Calcified

I watch it fade away
Some days it seems I feel gray
Akin to apathy
Lost in a wave of loathing
And when I take aim
The target always skews
But now I'm breaking my back so you know that

I'm calcified
It's been a long time of sitting back
Chew my tongue to the beat of my own heart
When I fall out of time, I'll live out of spite

Wait, I've gone about this all the wrong way
I spilled the blood of an undeserving enemy
The blade dulls on my skin
It just doesn't cut the same, does it?

I lived inside the fire, I used my flesh as fuel
You hate to watch and I know it's fucking killing you
Give up, get back, step back in line
Positioned out of sight

I'm calcified
It's been a long time of sitting back
Chew my tongue to the beat of my own heart
When I fall out of time, I'll live out of spite, yeah

And I know no matter how hard I try
I'll have a mind telling me that I wanna die
But I guess that's just how it is
I'll live out of spite

I watch it fade away
Some days it seems I feel gray
Some days it seems I'm okay
Some days it seems like I'm heading for a rope

I'm calcified
The rope, it called my name
Won't be a casualty
Don't need your opinion
I don't need sympathy
I need some room to breathe

You know nothing about me
And that is why I'm so sick and tired of the sentiment
That all the pain is gone 'cause I'm still feeling it
Guess it's the only solution
Embrace the anguish
I fall back into nothingness faster
Time stands still when the ones you love leave you