Hazbin Guarantee (Trust Us)

Come on in, here's your key
Let me take your bag, wait 'til you see
The hotel, 'cause it's great
If you parked your car, we'll validate
All our guests are family
(Hey, perv, hands off the chest fluff)
That's the Hazbin guarantee
And did I mention it's free?

It's worth the price
Al, be nice
Full of drunks (full of cunts)
Full of sticky floors covered in junk
Ha, don't mind them
No one does
Or that hole
Ugh, Cherri (what?)
You've made a great choice to save your soul

'Cause redemption is possible, I really, really hope
'Cause if it isn't, then my whole life's been a fuckin' joke
And my friend died for no reason and I'm never gonna cope
From watching him get fucking murdered right in front of me last month

(What?) There's a bar
(What the shit?) Have a beer (I don't drink)
I just know you're gonna love it here
We can live in harmony
No, I can't make a fucking Mai Tai
That's the Hazbin guarantee
Now repeat after me

I'm checkin' in (I'm checkin' in)
I'm seekin' guidance (I'm seekin' guidance), come on, everybody
For my reckonin' (for my reckonin')
I'll never turn to violence (I'll never turn-)
I'm checkin' in (I'm checking in)
I'm seekin' guidance (let's get out of here) (that place sucked ass)

Psst, hey, you (who? Me?)
That's right, baby
Redemption got you snoring? That scene was fucking boring
Have you considered a vocation that is more rewarding?
Because I sense a drop of star potential
With a little boost, that drip could turn torrential

Come on down to Vee Tower where we have talent flower
No tellin' how hot you could get once you're backed by our power
Let's start with a killer fit, let's get filler in those lips
Wax that gooch and pull that strip
A-snip, snip, snip

Ooh, all of Hell's gonna want you
In this game, no one outdoes us
No one can out buzz us
All you gotta do is trust us
(La-la-la) just us
(La-la-la) trust us

Take all these starring roles
We trademarked all your holes
There's no such thing as being totally over-exposed
Except now they're sick of you 'cause they've seen way too much
But we'll still get the clicks from souls who hate you

Scratch that, they changed the channel
And we can't sell the scandal
Hope you had fun, but we are done with you
Your run has cancelled
We're finished, I'm not kidding
Get the fuck out of my building
Get the fuck out of my building
Snip, snip, snip, bitch

Ooh, but if you know someone
You tell 'em that no one outdoes us
No one can out buzz us
All they gotta do is-

Come on in (come on down to Vee Tower)
Here's your key
And see how great your afterlife could be
We can live in harmony
Why be nice when you can be famous?
That's the Hazbin
Sign and cash in (guarantee)

Yeah, right, bitch
Trust me, just me
Trust-
Us, no, I-
I meant to say us (uh-huh, yeah, okay)