The Campfire Song

Come on, grab some ambrosia, and let the nectar flow
Why is everyone scraping part of their plate into the fire?
Is the food here really that bad?
Offering to the gods, it's not enough
And they're omnipotent and all—powerful
They need to feel appreciated!
To the gods (to the gods)
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your parents run the universe
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your folks run the universe
My dad is Hermes, he messengers things
You'll know his sign by his shoes with those wings
I wait by the phone, but the phone never rings!
Oh, no
When your dad's a god, life can be tough
I met the guy once and once was enough (oh, I hear that)
Annabeth!
Well, my mom's Athena, she's smart and she's wise
She swore off gluten and she swore off guys
But if she came to came, it'd be a surprise
Oh, no (oh, no)
Oh, and my stepmom, she hates me and my dad, works all day
So I left Virginia and I ran away
Wait, is that true? (Everybody)
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your parents run the universe
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your folks run the universe
Alright, who's next?
Oh, let me see, uh
My mom's Demeter, goddess of grains
She gets excited when it's starts to rain
But planting, and planting, and planting's a pain!
Oh, no (oh, no)
Right?
For their 16th birthday, my friends got a car
I got a fern in some dumb mason jar
Ooh, ooh, my turn!
I'm the child of Pan, god of the wild
For those who love nature, they're often beguiled
He's not really my dad, but I'm sort of his child
Oh, no (oh, no)
He went for a hike, to explore new frontiers
And no one has seen him for thousands of years
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your parents run the universe
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your folks run the universe
Chiron, who's your dad?
Oh, well
My father is Kronos
Remember my lecture? He ate his children
Chiron wins (yeah, his dad's definitely the worst)
How about you, Silena?
The goddess of love, my mom's Aphrodite
She tries to be cool, but mainly she's flighty
I'll bring home a boy, and she's there in her nighty
(Oh, no)
It's so embarrassing, guys!
I try to seek help, from even the fates
'Cause she steals my mascara and all of my dates
Alright, Percy, it's your turn (yeah, go ahead, Percy)
If I try to sing, it'll probably cause an avalanche
Aww, we're all friends here, c'mon, give it a shot
Okay, uhm
My mom was named Sally, she loved scary movies
The food that was blue and—
He's doing it wrong (yeah, who's your godly parent?)
Oh, I don't know
It's alright, a lot of half—bloods never know their godly parent
Just give it a try
Alright
So my dad is some god, that's great, I guess
Did he not want me or not want the stress?
Too bad he's the worst, and my life is a mess!
Oh, no (oh, yes, Percy)
I hope he shows, even a trace
'Cause I've got some choice words to throw in his face!
(Yes, Percy, that's what I'm talking about)
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your parents run the universe
Oh, things couldn't be worse
But I don't care where our parents may be
As long as you are here with me
We don't care where our parents may be
As long as you are here with me
As long as you are here with me