The Belle Of Snodland Town

She was far from small, as I recall
And a rather comely lass
All men would say as she passed their way
What a lovely piece of ass
Ask her where she came from
She'd say my lips are sealed
But a good guess would be Bristol
Or possibly Titchfield

And in every pub in Snodland
They still do speak her name

She was a sport, or so I heard
And did play many games
The soul of men's discretion
She did not mention names
She loved to go horse racing
And her form was studied hard
But didn't need a racetrack
To go right through the card

And in every pub in Snodland
They still do speak her name

One day I did go off with her
And laying in the hay
She promised me most anything
Just to have me stay
She whispered, come here, darling
Come, lover, please draw near
You're going where no man has been
I said, what, in your ear?

And in every pub in Snodland
They still do speak her name

We knew not where she came from
But since the day she went
We all do sadly miss her
In our little part of Kent
In every pub in Snodland
They still do sing this song
Vagina was her name, virgin for short
But we all knew, not for long

And in every pub in Snodland
They still do speak her name
And in every pub in Snodland
They still do speak her name