The Local

Now look, if you don't cop a mention in this song
Fucking put your hand up at the end of it
And I'll work on it, alright?

Well, I just got in from the local, I had to try the local brew
And I run into the local gossip, and I learned a thing or two
About you local yokels, and what yous get up to
And he read me your pedigrees and I'll read them back to you

He said the local chefs are poofed up
The local docs are drunk
The local priest likes little boys' bums
And the local cops are cunt
I said the local cops-, what did I say?
The local cops are cunt (the local cops are cunt)

We're actually recording tonight so if you wanna make that a little bit louder, let's try
One, two, three, four
The local cops are cunt (the local cops are cunt)
Excellent

The local mayor's a fucking dickhead
His wife's the local snob
The local bank manager's a fucking wanker
And so's the local cop

The local sparky's a fucking cowboy
Local plumber's making a mint
Local undertaker's a fucking weirdo
And the local lawyer's full of shit

And the local chefs are poofed up
The local docs are drunk
The local priest likes little boys' bums
The local cops are cunt (the local cops are cunt)
I said the local cops-, what did I say?
(The local cops are cunts)
Excellent

The local butcher's full of blowflies
Local dogs are full of fleas
Local barbers are fucking butcher
Local coons are fucking thieves

We're gonna have to drop your fucking response to that one

The local car yard are fucking rip off
And so's the local show
And the local cops are dead set cunt
But I mentioned that a minute ago
When I said

The local chefs are poofed up
The local docs are drunk
The local priest likes little boys' bums
And the local cops are cunt
I said the local cops-, what did I say?
The loc- (the local cops are cunts)

Big finish
One, two, three, four
The loc- (the local cops are cunts)
Excellent!
Thank you