I Know It'S Today

Settle in girls, it's story time

There's a princess
In a tower
Oh my gosh, that's just like me
Poor Rapunzel
Needs a haircut
But the witch won't set her free
She passes time by singing
Like someone else I know
As years go by she sits and waits
As years go by? Uh-oh
A torturous existence
I don't remember this part
She wishes she were dead?
Skip ahead, skip ahead
But in the end Rapunzel finds a millionaire
The prince is good at climbing
And braiding golden hair

So I know, he'll appear
'Cause there are rules and there are strictures
I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight
My white knight, and his steed
Will look just like these pictures
It won't be long now, I guarantee
Day number twenty-three

I know it's today
I know it's today

Oh, here's a good one! It's a classic!

There's a princess
In a coma
Glad it's her instead of me
Pretty maiden
In a glass box
How, I wonder, does she pee?
Blah, blah, blah, poison apple
Boring boring, evil queen
Filler filler, been there, read that!
Seven shorties on the scene
Skip ahead, skip ahead!
But in the end the princess wakes up with a start
The prince is good at kissing
And melting Snow White's heart!

So I know, he'll appear
And his armor will be blinding
As shining as his perfect teeth
And manly hose
He'll propose
On one knee
And our pre-nup will be binding
About time we set the wedding date
Day number nine hundred and fifty-eight

I know it's today
He'll show up today!

There's a princess
Any princess
Take your pick, they're all like me
Not exactly, I'm still waiting
They're out living happily
Ever after better get here
I want love in seconds flat
No one needs these middle bits
Whoops, did I do that?

Cut the villains, cut the vamping
Cut this fairy tale
Cut the peril and the pitfalls
Cut the puppet and the whale
Cut the monsters! Cut the curses!
Keep the intro! Cut the verses!
And the waiting! The waiting! The waiting! The waiting!
The waiting!

But I know, he'll appear
Though I seem a bit bipolar
And I'm a vandal now as well, hope he won't mind
I'm a find, I'm a catch
And a very gifted bowler
It won't be long now, I guarantee!
Day number

Are you there, God?
It's me, Fiona
It's me, Fiona!

Now I know, he'll appear
'Cause there are rules and there are strictures
I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight
My white knight, my knight and his steed
Will look just like these pictures
It won't be long now, I guarantee

Day number twenty-three
Day number nine fifty-eight
Day number eight thousand, four hundred, and twenty-three

I know it's today, ooh
I know it's today, ooh
I know it's today, ooh
I know it's today, ooh
I know it's today, ooh
I know it's today
I know it's today
I know it's today!