Crash

I ain't ever been the person that was always decisive
Costed me life
I had to put a pause on advice
No one to call in the night
I learned to sprawl and to fight

Sticking they fingers in my cage and made me forcefully bite
I found the key to the box that I locked my heart deep inside of
I tried to revive it, but dammit, now it's cold and it's rotten
I grew up with table manners, but I guess I forget 'em
'Cause I've been gone and isolated in my dungeon just plotting

Now I'll be honest with you
I've been having some visions
And which is real and which is not? No, I cannot tell the difference
The fallen angel knocking at my door to pay me a visit
And I can hear him whispering, and he's been offering riches

I told my doctor what I saw, but he just offered prescriptions
I'll add it to the list of things I can't resolve while I'm living
I guess I'm gifted, right?
Well, that depends on the viewer
'Cause what you're seeing is different looking behind your computer

I'm not going back
I don't wanna crash, no
This could never last
Take my burdens
I'm not going back
Please don't let me crash, no
Leave it in the past
I'll keep searching

This ain't the way I thought it all would go down
People I thought I loved the most are now no longer around
You said that you would never leave, but you're nowhere to be found
I'm fine now when I make it, please don't ask for my crown
And I been searching like Nate and seeking out hope in my lane

I'm hating all that I create, but still expect to be great
And to the younger version of me, there's a lot that's at stake
One day your parents gonna split and then you'll lose the estate
Listen, there's a lotta pressure coming in that you'll face
And then the odds will stack against you and you'll question your faith

Carve out an X over the people who said raps a mistake
Just find the strength to show forgiveness after making a name
And if you don't, then at least you chose to give shot
Better to lose at what you love than cave to something you're not
And I would rather take a chance then to sit here and rot
But if I crash along the way, at least they'll know what I thought

I'm not going back
I don't wanna crash, no
This could never last
Take my burdens
I'm not going back
Please don't let me crash, no
Leave it in the past
I'll keep searching