Civil War

Just because I smile
Doesn't mean that I don't cry
And just because i'm laughing
Doesn't mean that i'm alright
And just because I love you
I'll say i'm doing fine
But if you really knew me
Baby you'd know thats a lie

I'm scared of losing people
'Cause my joy depends on them
Baby I know how to love
But I don't know quite how it feels
The feeling of a loveless life
Is something I can't bear
I just wish I knew someone was there

If love is patient
Love is kind
Then why is love so hard to find
I bottle up the truth to hide
The fact that i'm not satisfied
It's not the circumstance i'm in
It's the mindset that I choose
How can I feel better
If I always seem to lose
I need the book
I need the pen
I need to open up Philippians
I need to trust in Your plan

I know somebody's listening
So why do I feel guilty
For unraveling my problems
To somebody who can fix me
It's maybe pride
Or maybe trust
But it's something I can overcome
And when I do
It's all because of You

It's a civil war inside
Between me myself and I
I don't know who's gonna win
But someone has to die
If dying to myself
Means that I can really live
Then why am I just holding on when He has life to give

If love is patient
Love is kind
Then why is love so hard to find
I bottle up the truth to hide
The fact that i'm not satisfied
I need the book
I need the pen
I need to open up Philippians
I need to trust in your plan