Which Of The Pickwick Triplets Did It? (Feat. Steve Martin)

Three little babes in their bassinets
Angelic little triplets or triple threats?
They might have fooled the others but they won't fool me
It's time to give these teething, seething three
The third degree

Which of the Pickwick triplets did it?
Who of the crew would commit this crime?
Might a little brat make a mommy go splat?
It's a story pretty gory for a nursery rhyme
Which of the Pickwick triplets did it?
Which of the spawn had the brawn to kill?
Will a baby get tried for matricide?
Coochie-coochie-coo, time for you, or you, or you, to admit it
So quick as a whip gotta pick which Pickwick triplеt did it

Penelope in pink surе is making quite a stink
Is she trying to throw me off the scent?
Though she bats her little eyes, is she a killer in disguise?
With a diaper full of criminal intent

Preening Patrick is pernicious with an appetite so vicious
He would bite the hand that feeds him with a sneer
But could that rotten tot be behind this evil plot?
Baby-stepping towards a murderous career

Pouty little Paco's looking coy but he's a bad, bad boy
Could Paco's passion prove apocalyptic?
With his paci and his rattle, did this pisher go to battle?
Proving he's the perp amidst this Pickwick triptych

In this picaresque puzzle of the Pickwick pack
Will a lighthouse shed some light?
On which kid gave ol' mom a whack
There's an infant to indict
I'll book this little crook tonight!

But
Which of the Pickwick triplets did it?
Who of the crew would commit this crime?
Which little brat made mommy go splat?
Which crib, which sib, will be doing hard time?

Which of the Pickwick triplets did it?
Which little putz had the guts to kill?
Like a forensic pediatrician I'll complete this inquisition
I will name the neonatal from the cradle that proved fatal
I will find the perpetrator who did murder to their maker

Or, coochie-coochie-coo
What if none of it is true?
Has my inspection been too cursory?
Should I look outside this nursery?
What if none of the Pickwick triplets did it?
Who'd have had a menacing motive and hid it?
Who?
Who?
Who?!
Well
I
Pick
You!