Horny Hound

This is Steve, may I help you?
Steve, yeah, listen
I need to talk to somebody about a subscription I had filled down there
I had a problem with
Okay
I got a prescription for that Viagra
(Mm-huh) and I wanted y'all to give it to me in them hard-to-open bottles
(Mm-huh) and apparently, somebody down there screwed up and gave me the easy open ones

(Okay) we was gone last night out to play bingo
And my dog got into them damn pills while we was gone
Had him a bait of them
And we come home and a neighbor woman called and said
"That he was over there on top of his female German Shepherd dog"
What kind of dog took the Viagra?
It was a male dachshund
A little dachshund jumped on a German shepherd (yeah, sir)

That's a good bunch of Viagra there
I guarantee you he had him, he had a gut full of it (yes, sir)
The little fella's name was Oscar (Oscar?)
Worst part of it, he had a weenie dog
The worst thing about it was
The time we got over there to hit him with a water hose and get him off (uh-huh)
The little fella had had a heart attack, I guess
And died still attached to the dag gum German police

That is a crisis
And we got them down there right now to the vet trying to get them separated
It ain't funny
I know it's not funny
Now, Vern and-
Pharmacy's a serious business
Yeah, $100 to, you know, take them apart
And then there's a little place that Oscar clawed up on that dog's back

(Yeah) trying to get up there, I reckon
Yeah, little Oscar's quite an athlete
Well, you've got that much Viagra in you, by God
You climb Mount Everest to get to it
That's right, that's right
Right now, of course, he's more weenie than he is dog

Oh, God
Oh, boy
Oh, Lord have mercy
The vet said, "It was the first time he's ever seen weenies and kraut like that"
Oh, don't you love vitamin V?