Keep Yer Hands Off My P.B.R.

You can spit on my pickup truck, call my Ma a lousy whore
Leave a flamin' bag of dogshit outside my trailer door
But don't go messin' with my Pabst Blue Ribbon
'Cause then you gone way too far
Keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR

You can bang my little sister like the drum in a big parade
You can hand me a big ole cup of piss and tell me it's lemonade
You can hide a riled-up rattlesnake in my grandma's cookie jar
But keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR

You can call Clint Eastwood a homo
You can say Chuck Norris is queer
You can claim John Wayne was a fan of cock
But keep your hands off my fucking beer

You can kick me in the gonads, you can drag me by the ole nutsack
You can tie my pecker in a granny knot and stick a corncob up my crack
But don't touch my tasty beverage 'cause then you took it way too far
Keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR

You can cop a cheap feel of my woman's ass
You can squeeze her sloppy tits
But if you go fingering my liquid lover, I'ma gonna lose my shit

'Cause when I wanna party, only one drink will do
I reach right for an icy can of the red, white and blue
So, if you see me down at the tavern, bellied up to the bar
Keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR

Just keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR