Ptsd

Rain trickling, window pane whistling
Pain gripping me it's cold but it ain't Switzerland
I lay in a state, brain fizzling away
Stay visiting the day chasing the sins away
With a bottle of Jack Daniel's 8 feet away
And a lot of back tracking I hate being this way
I hate being afraid when the thunder sounds like grenades
Floating back to '82 when we came under a raid
They coming to claim the brave when the army invade
Stray bullet from the AK made my momma a grave
I'm hardly awake running in undergarments to spray
Harm me a Jake regardless what leg and arm that it takes

Wake up in cold sweats apartment low rent
Dazed I cover my ears like hand free phone sets
Solitude devours this lowly war vet
Like old women with no children and four pets
I go vex when people today protest
Like they ain't got freedom but fuck it, I know less
I know death and cold steel from cold techs
And winter nights in prison locked in a cold cell
Boxed and so frail dropped to the floor stressed
Scream, the soul dressed in me got no self esteem
Hopeless to dream, low self esteem
It's hopeless to dream

Don't be alarmed
Or play holier than thou
You drink or smoke, it goes in my arm
Pick your medicine
God! I was a soldier before
No guns but still caught in the wars, PTSD
Nah, don't play holier than thou
You drink or smoke, it goes in my arm
Pick your medicine
God! I was a soldier before
No guns but still caught in the wars, PTSD

I know it's a lot to swallow in a song
But whole volumes come along
And roll by with no result
And folks argue when they walk
Like don't bother me at all
I won't bother you, a job is all I'm hunting for
Annoyed, when they front and floss at yours
Like Barbie dolls in malls
Walking close to walls I've probably crossed the border
Of lost onto assault, the war's tortured result
The world don't give a fuck
So I throw caution to dust
Rob most of their stuff
They all sow me erupt but don't call me a thug
I'm just forced to get buck
And pour salt in their mug start coughing it up
I'm life's nauseous stuff
A veteran, hero meddle with heroine needle peddling
And it gets even better than medicine
People said that it settles evil lurking embedded deep in your shirt and the medals mean shit in the end
Breathe again friend the fires roar close to your gut
It will cost you a heart just for you to shoulder the odds
But don't be alarmed I swear being sober is hard
One time I stayed a week without knowing a drop
No needle pop, no weed, no pot, no illegal rocks
Two weeks of job hunting I'm back on the streets sloshed
Half deranged, past that stage laugh at rage
That's insane cast the flame, mastered pain
Memories flash the brain I collapse I am maimed

But don't be alarmed
Or play holier than thou
You drink or smoke, it goes in my arm
Pick your medicine
God! I was a soldier before
No guns but still caught in the wars, PTSD
Nah don't play holier than thou
You drink or smoke, it goes in my arm
Pick your medicine
God! I was a soldier before
No guns but still caught in the wars, PTSD