You Are What You Wear

This is a big birthday for Patrick, Courtney, so thank you for helping me co-host.

Anything for you, Evelyn. You look to die for.

Thank you, Courtney.
I want blackened shark,
Mahi mahi.
Works so well
With Isaac Mizrahi.

I'll have soda,
And crème de menthe.
Tastes so good
With Oscar de Laurenta.

The ginger mango soy black bass
Compliments the beige I will not touch
A drop of red wine

Don't wanna ruin the Calvin Klein.

Chanel, Gaultier, or Giorgio Armani
Moschino, Alia, or Norma Kamali
Should I rock
The Betsey Johnson
Or stick with classic
Comme des Garçon
No parachute
Or Fiarucci
I'm with Prada
I'm with Gucci
When one goes shopping
It's best to take care
As some of us know
You are what you wear.

I will try on
These Mod Frisson

I think I'll go
To Ferragamo

I don't know if
I'm such a fan
Of your purple suede Charles Jourdan.

But let's be clear,
There's nothing ironic
About our love of
Manolo Blahnik.
No, there's nothing
Remotely ironic
About our love of
Manolo Blahnik.

Chanel, Gaultier, or Giorgio Armani
Moschino, Alia, or Norma Kamali
Should I rock
The Betsey Johnson
Or stick with classic
Comme des Garçon
In a certain kind of neighborhood
You might get away with Vivian Westwood
But by von Furstenberg we swear
It's a wrap
You are what you wear.

Hello?

Hi, Evelyn? I have Patrick for you.

Patrick, are you getting excited, birthday boy? Now, listen, your brother and mother

are already here - she won't take off her sunglasses, she refuses to say anything
- I'm worried she hates me, Patrick.

PB: No, she doesn't, she's just heavily medicated. Listen, can we add Paul Owen to the mix?

What? Add who?
PB: Paul. Owen. Read my lips: it's for work.

No, you are not screwing up my dinner party with your latest neurotic obsession.

PB: He's coming, Evelyn! I invited him, it's my birthday dinner.
I will not have an odd number at my table, Patrick! This isn't Brooklyn!

PB: Well, invite someone else. Can't Courtney bring Luis?

Luis is flying back from Phoenix tonight.
Luis is unavailable.

PB: Fuck sake, Evelyn, it doesn't matter. I'll bring Jean.

Jean, are you still on the line?
I am.
PB: So, do you have plans tonight?
No, nothing I couldn't change, but Patrick, look, I -
PB: Perfect, then you'll come to Evelyn's.
What do I wear?
PB: What you have on is... Acceptable.
What am I supposed to do?
PB: Simple recon, Jean. Find out how a douchebag like Paul Owen managed to score the Fischer account.
Chanel, Gaultier, or Giorgio Armani
Moschino, Alia, or Norma Kamali
Should I rock
The Betsey Johnson
Or stick with classic
Comme des Garçon
No parachute
Or Fiarucci
I'm with Prada
I'm with Gucci
Versoni, Versace,
Which one is best?
The guys just buzz,
Do I look underdressed?