A Desire To Disappear

微かな記憶 残る 幸せなんて
今映った自分にも 嘘をついてる
全ての微笑みは ただの偽物
孤独憧れるが どうして辛いの？

Happiness isn't meant to be nostalgic
And longing for a purpose should bring meaning, not feel tragic
Every helping hand reaching out is growing colder
This hell is one I made myself and mine alone to shoulder

静寂頭の中で響いて 永遠に
My heart and soul 少しずつ衰えていってる
希望と夢両方壊れる 止まりたい、だけどどうやって？
僕はどのくらい続くのかな

In a flash, my senses crash
My mind's connecting dots from present to past
As a storm, it begins to form
The reason I've grazed those pearly gates before

No shape no cure
How much anguish can one endure?
So what the fuck am I supposed to do
When the one day comes where I can't pull through?

Faced with a choice
Do I run away and hide?
Or should I give into desire
Gut myself and rip out what's inside?

回り回る消えていく 望みを
眠れない夜の思いが苦しめる
生きる意味を探しが、何もない見つけられない
幸福の権利は望めないのか？

逃げらないんだ 逃げらないんだ
My mind is my greatest enemy
生きたいよ 死にたくないよ
深淵が僕を呼んでる

Even in my darkest hour
I won't let it overpower me