The Bawdy Ballad Of Granny Mcgee

Oh Granny McGee was a menace to all
With whiskey in hand and a mouth like a brawl
She'd outdrink the sailors outcurse the old men
And fart in confession just to do it again!

Hey ho get outta the way!
Granny's on whiskey and hell's gonna pay!
She'll out-swear the devil she'll slap ye for fun
And she once flashed the postman in broad feckin' sun!

She once punched a bishop right square in the jaw
For saying "McGee have ye heard of God's law?"
She spat on the floor and she gave him a wink
Said "I'd shag him meself but I like 'em with drink!"

Hey ho get outta the way!
Granny's on whiskey and hell's gonna pay!
She cusses like thunder she'll drink ye to shame
And she once rode a bouncer and forgot his name!

Now Granny had lovers from Dublin to Clare
And one fateful night she tried three on a dare!
The guards tried to stop her but what did she do?
She bit one on the arse and screamed "Feckin' SUE!"

Hey ho get outta the way!
Granny's on whiskey and hell's gonna pay!
She once stole a tractor she flashed at the Pope
And she told her own grandson "Yer da was a joke!"

One night in Killarney she danced on the bar
Flipped up her skirt and said "LADS HERE WE ARE!"
The crowd screamed in horror the barkeep went pale
For under her dress... WAS A BOTTLE OF ALE!

Hey ho get outta the way!
Granny's on whiskey and hell's gonna pay!
She's feckin' immortal she'll never be tamed
And if ye insult her-ye'll never walk straight again!