Number Go Up

Life is a drag, life is a chore
Frightfully sad, so mindless a bore
Mice in the bag, you fight and you gnaw
For the rights just to brag in the line for the door
And the higher your score, the louder you bicker
Life gave you lemons? Good heavens, you're bitter
And whatever you get to collect, well, that head interjects
With incessant effect, "Could be bigger"
Here comes the next utter wreck, what the heck? Cut the deck
Unsuspectingly betting their dinner when left unchecked
Cuts a check, bust, the rest rubberneck
But expect still to end up a winner

If you're ever in the dumps or feeling stuck in a rut
You simply haven't had the fun of watching number go up
You know it's wonderful stuff, let the hundreds runneth over your cup
It's such a buzz to watch the number go up
You must be pretty dumb for thinking some is enough
When you can add another one and make the number go up
Until you run out of luck and find your funds are down to nothing but fluff
No runners-up in making number go up

That day-to-day is unbearably dry
Makes sense to chase that numerical high
Be it a salary, calories, boxes on ballot sheets
Whoops, don't forget to subscribe (don't forget to subscribe)
Are you feeling alive? With catharsis or pride?
Maybe father has cried? Have you asked yourself why?
To blast through a ceiling might pass for appealing
But chance is you're leaving with plaster in eyes
And the faster the rise, the harder the fall
Infinite jesters still get curtain calls
My god, it's historic, meteoric, alas, my poor Yorick
He held his head high through it all

If you're ever in the dumps or feeling stuck in a rut
You simply haven't had the fun of watching number go up
If your budget is bust, you gotta trust the funds are gonna erupt
You've gotta lust for making numbers go up (haha, sing, you fools)
You must be pretty dumb for thinking some is enough
When you can add another one and make the number go up
But all the lustre can rust, sweep your dreams into a dustpan and brush
Another shmuck to make the numbers go up

Shoot like a star or fold like a quitter
Somebody once told me about all that glitters
Now you might dream of queens straight flush with the green
But get jack when you're sold down the river
You might find you're an ace or just bluff from the start
Have diamond in spades or get clubbed in the heart
When the pot's at an end and the flop doesn't send
You a hand full of lovely cards
The world's at the table, it's prudent to play
To err, says the fable, is human, but hey
Watch your stack, for the fact is that affluence turning to crap
Is one little vowel movement away

Those rags to riches you got from that tip-off
Just tacking stitches to viciously rip off
Bet on a dream and it seems it might tear at the seams
Why'd you think so much poker is strip off?
Now let's see who's next in line to proclaim
They can be king just by making in reign
A million monarchs competing for dwindling court seating
All blind to how fleeting their fame
The ante is up and the cards are face down
Sadly it can't be the other way 'round
But the biggest of figures won't impress the digger
When picking your hole in the ground
(Oh, now you're in the hole)

If you're ever in the dumps or feeling stuck in a rut
You simply haven't had the fun of watching number go up
Oh, it's a punch in the nuts, stuck in a puddle with the wrong kind of flush
Get off your butt and make the number go up (hahaha, yes)
You must be pretty dumb for thinking some is enough
When you can add another one and make the number go up (so I can hear you in the bluffing tables)
Until it crumbles to dust, another puppet for the vultures to pluck
Out of luck, making number go up

Yeah, we'd really like to make another couple of bucks
So won't you play the song again and make the number go up?