I Don'T Want Kids (Feat. Ben Dawson)

I'm tired of conversations with my friends and family
About what I think the future holds for my best girl and me
I fully understand exactly what they're driving at
And unfortunately my answer tends to leave them somewhat flat
Unsubtle hints are met with awkwardness
So I feel I am required to confess

I don't want kids
I just want pets
I can't foresee that this will be one of my great regrets
Your kids are fine
'Cause they're not mine
To me, a life lived without children sounds divine

I try to make excuses when folks arrive with their baby
There's nothing I dread more than someone handing it to me
But declining offers to have them rested on your knee
Makes one a pariah within polite society
The room looks 'round with eyes of pure dismay
And no one will believe it when you say

I don't want kids (I don't want kids)
I just want pets (I just want pets)
I can't foresee that this will be one of my great regrets
Your kids are fine (your kids are fine)
'Cause they're not mine ('cause they're not mine)
To me, a life lived without children sounds divine

I know children can be fun
And yours I'm very fond of, it is true
The advantage is that when I grow weary of their noise
I can direct them back to you

I don't want kids (I don't want kids)
I just want pets (I just want pets)
I can't foresee that this will be one of my great regrets
Your kids are fine (your kids are fine)
'Cause they're not mine ('cause they're not mine)
To me, a life lived without children sounds divine

I don't want kids (I don't want kids)
I just want pets (I just want pets)
I can't foresee that this will be one of my great regrets
Your kids are fine (your kids are fine)
'Cause they're not mine ('cause they're not mine)
To me, a life lived without children sounds divine