It Kills Me

They see how I'm movin'
But me, I'm not see-through
She ask what I do, I just do what I need to
They ask how I am, I just am how they need me
Replace feelin' feelings with just feelin' busy
It's cool, but it kills me
It's cool, but it kills me
I'm so used to being let down
By the people and things I believe in
You'd think I'd be stronger
But the only thing that I learned
From repeat disappointment is
Don't let 'em see it all on you
I promise it kills me
It's cool, but it kills me

My mama thought I'd be a superstar right about now
She always went to bat for me
I'm lettin' her down every time
That I tеll her the show wasn't at full capacity
I promised that woman a mansion
I promisеd that woman a life with celebrities
I know she's not gonna say it
But she don't wan' hear no more promises, she's almost seventy
Every time I get momentum
I lose the momentum like it wasn't meant for me
Get an idea, then a brand-new idea
Then I leave the idea that was probably best for me
I don't care much about bein' the richest
I care a lot more about reachin' my destiny
I know that mama is never gon' say
What she think 'bout her son and his downward trajectory

They see how I'm movin'
But me, I'm not see-through
She ask what I do, I just do what I need to
They ask how I am, I just am how they need me
Replace feelin' feelings with just feelin' busy
It's cool, but it kills me
It's cool, but it kills me
I'm so used to being let down
By the people and things I believe in
You'd think I'd be stronger
But the only thing that I learned
From repeat disappointment is
Don't let 'em see it all on you
I promise it kills me
It's cool, but it kills me

Facial recognition everywhere I go
My life is weirder than I thought it would be
Always thought it could be cool to have it
Am I wrong to tell you that it's bothering me?
Strangers come up and they usually'll
Mention older music from an album or two
Even though they're showing love
I still internalize it as, "What the fuck happened to you?
"What the fuck you doing?"
"Where the fuck is Between Somewhere Token?"
"Fuck you do with him?"
Really all he said was
"Holy shit, Token, I love you, I love "Household Name"
"can we do a pic?"
How did I become a person that don't see a blessin' that's next to him
Showing him all that love?
Maybe this shit just isn't meant for me like I thought it was

They see how I'm movin'
But me, I'm not see-through
She ask what I do, I just do what I need to
They ask how I am, I just am how they need me
Replace feelin' feelings with just feelin' busy
It's cool, but it kills me