What Does Your Love Look Like? (Feat. Ren)

I'm not right for you
But I'm just what I should be
You tried to change me, I tried to change you
We never change, do we?
What does your love look like? What does your love look like?
What does your love look like? What does your love look like?

As much as I do wanna love you, I feel like we're speakin' two different languages
Your house had a gate and mine had instigated, so that's the environment we feel safer in
You thought it was crazy how long that it took me to tell you "I love you" like that was the weirdest
I only heard dad say "I love you" when mom in the room when he went back to singing his lyrics
So how could you blame me? 'Cause you always choose to (you always choose to)
You wanna know where I be at all the time, but that's not what I'm used to (not what I'm used to)
You knew when your dad was at work or he's home when he's takin' the load off (takin' the load off)
I didn't know where until 1:24, the day I got that phone call
And I let the phone drop
I'm tryna be my best, to be a gentleman, I'm tryna learn, I never had the chance
I still look to my manager, but he gon' teach me how to be a rapper before a good man
I grew up afraid to find a letter on mama's dresser telling us goodbye
I'm used to it all, so you don't gotta hold back and cry
But I gotta tell you why

I'm not right for you
But I'm just what I should be
You tried to change me, I tried to change you
We never change, do we?
What does your love look like? What does your love look like?
What does your love look like? What does your love look like?

I'm not right for you, but I won't get up and leave
'Cause I hate the pain that this color my veins that is present in solitary
What does your love look like? Does it look black and white?
Is he your kryptonite?
Do all your demons get louder at night and the voices get softened when we're intertwined?

I've been going to therapy lately 'cause the cause and effect made me hate the
Way that I feel when the lovin' gets real 'cause I just wanna run and escape the
Pressure that pains me, pressure of safety
Pressures of promises that turn to maybes
Pressure of bravely moving in the same direction
The pressure been drivin' me crazy
So my therapist said that these moods that I kept were created when I was a kid
And just like that, all my thoughts raced back to a Welsh town, '96
My mother was crying, my father was screaming and shoutin'
Denying the sin of deceiving and cheating and lyin'
The weeds were uprooted, the garden is dying, but still she forgives
The cycle repeats, every night, I tried to sleep, hearing the screams through concrete
Muddling peace, a vision of love, a lesson that fused with the cells in my blood
A lesson that taught me that love ain't enough and that love can be porcelain when times get tough
Flash forward five years later
Sitting in the passenger seat of my dad's car with my maker
My dad looks shaken, turned to face him
The words that he spoke cutthroat like razor
He said, "Ren, sometimes love can be complicated
Navigating a world that we co-created
And I've made mistakes, but I will love you daily"
And just like that, it's just me, my mom, and my sis
The stress left mom disabled for a bit

I grew up fast then 'cause I gotta be a new Ren
Strong for my sis and my mom, not a loose end
Confused, but moving through the confusion
But all new love feels fake like Truman

What does your love look like? Does it tear your insides?
Does it keep you up at night?
My brother, does it make you feel like a fist in your windpipe?
Suffocate the feeling of what love's meant to feel like
Navigating new, but I'm still not quite right
One-night stand make the pain stop one night
One more heart to the blade of my cold knife
What does your love look like?
(What does your love look like? What does your love look like?)
(What does your love look like? What does your love look like?)

You realize how hard that I work and you told me you feel for me
If I lost all my motivation tomorrow, would you still love me?
It's easy to love when I'm up, when I'm down, then you leavin'
You can't even give me an answer 'cause you never seen it and that's why it's hard to believe it
If you needed help, but I'm too far away, is it over for you? (Uh)
Maybe I'm just not the person for you, even though I still could be the soul for you (right)
Maybe we are meant to be together, but our history got in the way (in the way)
Your trust issues, my fear issues, too many issues at play
You yell fast, I get quiet, you wanna see more passion (more passion)
I've seen what real yelling can lead to, so, no, I don't have it (don't have it)
I grew up afraid to see holes in the wall in the room that was locked from inside
I promise I'm used to it all, you don't gotta ever hold back a cry
But I gotta tell you why

I'm not right for you
But I'm just what I should be
You tried to change me, I tried to change you
We never change, do we?
What does your love look like? What does your love look like?
What does your love look like? What does your love look like? (What does is it look like?)