The Masochism Tango
Tom Lehrer
2:40I always will remember 'Twas a year ago November I went out to hunt some deer On a morning bright and clear I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow I was in no mood to trifle I took down my trusty rifle And went out to stalk my prey What a haul I made that day I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow The law was very firm, it Took away my permit The worst punishment I ever endured It turned out there was a reason Cows were out of season And one of the hunters wasn't insured People ask me how I do it And I say, "There's nothin' to it You just stand there lookin' cute And when something moves, you shoot" And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now Two game wardens Seven hunters And a pure-bred Guernsey cow