The Irish Ballad
Tom Lehrer
2:59I always will remember, 'twas a year ago November I went out to hunt some deer On a morning bright and clear I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow I was in no mood to trifle, I took down my trusty rifle And went out to stalk my prey What a haul I made that day I tied them to my fender and I drove them home somehow Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow The law was very firm, it took away my permit The worst punishment I ever endured It turned out there was a reason, cows were out of season And one of the hunters wasn't insured People ask me how I do it, and I say, "There's nothing to it You just stand there looking cute And when something moves, you shoot" And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow Yes, the law was very firm, it took away my permit The worst punishment I ever endured It turned out there was a reason, cows were out of season And one of the hunters wasn't insured People ask me how I do it, and I say, "There's nothing to it You just stand there looking cute And when something moves, you shoot" And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred Guernsey cow