Shit I Used To Do (Feat. Mononeon)

Forty something years old, can't believe I got here
so many reasons why I should be fuckin not here
so many memories, most of 'em not clear
so many nights drunk driving went and got beer
at 1:55 tryna race against the clock
running stop signs doing 80 down the block
I probably should be paralyzed, dead, or in jail
the fact I'm free and walking is a head vs. a tail
I shoulda seized opportunities that i squandered
shoulda been focused instead my mind wandered
depressed and aloof is what the booze made me
suicidal thoughts in my mind they would plague me
I'm glad I lasted long enough to change my ways
lotta people I knew they can't say that phrase
I walked on a tight rope as best as I could
now I'm good
fuck, I jinxed it... knock on wood
uh

all the shit I used to do
can't believe I made it through
all the things I used to say
I'd never say that shit today

I'm glad I'm a musician
not a politician
so I can say I'm sorry without everybody bitchin
some of my old lyrics, I be cringing while I'm listening
wondering why the shit is so damn misogynistic
calling women bitches like a million times a minute
makes me not wanna hear the rest and just skip it
maybe it'd be different if I was actually pimpin'
but I wasn't I was sitting at my house alone drinkin'
words that would slander other peoples' way of living
an old idiotic homophobic way of thinking
a weak fella tryna portray a strong image
a mask of masculinity to hide who the true bitch is
when people seek forgiveness it don't make me upset
i said some shit this morning i already regret
there's nothing set in stone but a stone
I don't say ""I've stuck to my guns"" I say ""I've learned and I've grown""
all the shit I used to do
can't believe I made it through
all the things I used to say
I'd never say that shit today

play some funky shit I gotta urinate

my life will be ending soon
they say your body is a temple, mine's the temple of impending doom
my back, my knees, but mostly my shoulder
they all fall apart and go to shit as i get older
I used to skateboard and my mind plays tricks on me
I skateboard now and think i still got the tricks in me
muscle memory i see it so vividly
I can do it mentally, but can't do it physically
I used to agile, now I'm fragile
went from athletic to decrepit and pathetic
I used to be free and wild, soon I'll be senile
at the senior citizens' center trying to freestyle
spitting on the nurse while I'm sittin' on a bedpan
telling her ""you know lady I was once signed to Def Jam""
tumors abound when I get my head scanned
then, I'm a dead man
damn

cll the shit I used to do
can't believe I made it through
all the things I used to say
I'd never say that shit today

cw shit