Pariah

For a long while now I don't dread death
I won't make till 30 I won't hold my breath
I can feel it in my bones I can feel I'm getting bored
I can think of all the shit that I don't wanna settle for

In then I'm out whisper and shout
Heard YCK he don't stop with the sound
How could anybody give a fuck bout me
And in spite of all the songs they all wanna doubt me

Bruised up skin all my wounds cauterized
Everything I been through you could say I'm traumatized
Bitch don't speak cause you ain't qualified
Spit murdering words you could say it's homicide

Last made attempt wanna change your appearance
You wanna bump the new me but you weren't given the clearance
When ya say what they say and then you do what they do
You're like a whole nother clone straying far from the truth

I'm not any new messiah
Removed call me the pariah
I'm not any superhuman
Deceived by my own delusion

Cold on the couch still got a pound
Of the Snow White dream but I feel out of bounds
Might be sick though I ain't concerned
When that'll be the last time that I take your word

Spilled my drink then I spilled my guts
Won't be so sure that I die by drugs
If I do that tread light till I go
Better that way than a dull knife to my throat

Been three weeks no physical contact
Outta sight outta mind no visual contract
No hands held got a personal bubble
And when it's dark outside I'll be looking for trouble

Metabolizing all of the poison I put inside me
I'm a fucking lone wolf and these people they won't invite me
Don't need a set cause I won't play at a party
I'd rather get blacked out I'll be sipping Bacardi

I'm not any new messiah
Removed call me the pariah
I'm not any superhuman
Deceived by my own delusion