Now That'S Awesome (Comedy Bit) (Live)

And because of the 90s, we started using the word awesome
But we use it wrong
You know, we'll say stuff like, ooh, your car is awesome
Or your yard looks awesome
That's not awesome

Webster's Dictionary defines awesome
As anything that leaves you in awe and wonder
Like winning the lottery, twice
That's awesome
Getting a call from the IRS saying you've been audited
And they owe you 50 thousand dollars
That'd be awesome

Ladies, you wake up tomorrow morning
And the newspaper reads
Scientists have discovered a way
For men to experience childbirth
That'd be awesome
Getting invited to the Playboy Mansion on trampoline night
That'd be awesome

And I started thinking, ladies and gentlemen
What would be awesome for Bill Engvall?
What would leave me in awe and wonder?
And it'd have to be, if I left this stage tonight
And I went back to my hotel room
And Shania Twain met me at my door

Wearing nothing but a fur coat
Holding a note from my wife that said, "Have a good time"
That would be awesome
It ain't gonna happen
But that would be awesome
I'll tell y'all nuts we went in the 90s-