"Ladies And Gentlemen, A Toast!"

Ladies and gentlemen, a toast.
To the presidency of the United States.
An office, which by its mere existence,
reassures us that the possibilities of life are limitless.
An office, the mere idea of which
reproaches us when we fall short of being all that we can be.
A grand and glorious office to which at least one
among us may one day aspire.
Ladies and gentlemen, what can I say? Hail to the chief!

You know, you really ought to do something about that stomach.

I do everything about this stomach!

Oh, yes?
I give up wine, no good.
I give up smokes, no good. I quit my work, no good.
I move Miami, no good.
I take appendix out, no good. Nothing no good.
Nothing, nothing, nothing!

Have you considered shooting Franklin Roosevelt?

You think that help?

It couldn't hurt.