Grandad'S Got A Bone

The old bastard laid sprawled on the nursing home floor
He'd been wankin' and felt out of his chair
And as he fell on his guts, his colostomi bust
Splatterin' muck and guck and shit everywhere
It was all up the wall, on the matrone and all
It was caked on her apron and hair, and as we duck for cover
That filthy old bugger just sat there with his cock in his hand
Ah, couldn't been a worse day, cause it was his birthday
With the rellies, rallied all round his bed
Absolutely amazed that he actually made
another birthday cause he should've been dead
With all that mockin' and bitin', that he'd done in his life
He should've been hung years ago
By any number of blokes who'd missus he'd
poked, by that monster he's strokin' there now
Ah, grandad's got a stiffy
Grandad's got a bone
Somebody better get nanna in quick, we promised her we'd phone
He's O.D'd on viagra, call grandmother up on the phone
Grandad's got a stiffy
Grandad's got a bone...
But he just wouldn't stop wankin',
so we chucked on a blanket, so the women and kids couldn't see
His badded banana hangin' out his
payamas, and a cum stain and shit on his sheets
But that filthy old bastard sat cackle
and laughin', just wavin' his slug in the air
And by the look in his eye, matrone knew it was time
"EVERYBODY GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"
Grandad's got a stiffy
Grandad's got a bone
Somebody better get nanna in quick, we promised her we'd phone
Cause grandad's goin' balistic, call grandmother up on the phone
Grandad's got a stiffy
Grandad's got a bone
Ah, grandad's got a stiffy
Grandad's got a bone
Somebody better get nanna in quick, we promised her we'd phone
He's pullin' himself to pieces, call grandmother up on the phone
Grandad's got a stiffy
Grandad's got a bone
Ah, grandad's got a stiffy
Grandad's got a bone