Fat Guy Problems

Fucking fat, it's ridiculous like I even what, like I've this problem that
My pants keep like I can't this, they won't stay up because here's
What happens, okay you get fat and some of you skinny people
Won't, I don't give a shit about you, you won't get this I hate

Skinny people, because they don't empathize won't fat guy problems
They just don't, like you have a skinny friend you're trying to tell them like
I just, I just I wish I could have one doughnut and fucking walk away
I wish I could do that, I wish I had the power to eat the doughnuts
And your skinny friend is like, well just eat the doughnut then
What's speak to you, you should totally just have the doughnut if you want

You should totally go ahead and have one, just enjoy yourself
Have a doughnut if you like them, fuck you, you don't get it it's a whole
Spiral to begins with the doughnut later I'm killing the hookers I don't
Even knows what happens, but so here's what happens you get
Fat and your pants starts to get tight right and then, you get fatter

'Cause it's not like oh I'll stop eating now, you know, and then suddenly
All your pants fucking hurts like every poor pants hurts and then you
Eat even more 'cause it's like fuck it mehn you even cares fat shit
Fucking obessed with food, I went to this fucking eh thing with my wife and kids
Where I was the kids and their kids friend and its just house full of assholes

You know they are half kids, and I'm just stand there, fucking
I just wanna kill myself, and I just want a bomb to drop on the whole house
To take us all out, and I get in there but there's a plate of cookies
And like it's too damn much if that's what I'm done eating every
Fucking cookies on that plate, that's what I'm here, that what this all is
Is fucking that, so and I you've to have a strategy you know you can't

Just fucking eh, just fucking stand there and you're like uh fucking uh eat
You got, you've got to like sort of keep rediscovering the cookies you know
You have to walk over there oh hey look at you, hey so
Who brought those that's cool since it's like hm, you do this
This means like, I totally could not eat it but I don't know fuck I'll eat this
I don't wanna hurt people's feelings about the cookies hm

Uh that's interesting, I'd take it and leave it, totally fucking radar back there
Okay new people around the dish do it again, hey fucking
If people starts noticing you've to say something like this are crazy
Am a dick like I don't know what it is about them, yeah
It's the fucking cookies, it's not your piece of shit that can't stop eating anything
But uh, so here's what happens, so you get fat enough though and your belle

Starts to push out like this, and then it pushes your pants down to your
Pelvis 'cause they won't hang in your normal place anymore
And then down they feel loose and then you feel, hey loosing weight alright
I'm coming down, my pants are getting loose I'm getting thinker
I ate my way through to the other side I did, fucking I don't give a shit
I'm fat look at this shit I don't fucking care, look at that I don't care

It's just that sweaty ball of fucking flesh, I don't care, look how fucked it is too
It goes right in, like it goes in right angle and hit my pelvis
It doesn't like slope back down, it fucking goes in and then back up
It's fucked like when I'm in the shower and I'm scrubbing like this
And I get back down I get a turning like this, I can actually make a turn

Fucking cut in, or the cracks gets fucking filthy, it's ridiculous, it is like
A theater sit like fucking receipt, and shit popcorn fucking kid's toy
And my body just falling apart mehn, I got titties now two I just got titties
And that's a fucked up day in a man's life, when you look in the mirror and
You realize fuck i got titties you don't see them coming, they sort of
Pounding out a little by little and when one day you just fucking fall

A little and that's it, you've titties, and they are they for good
They are not gonna like go back, it's fucking over and that's the thing is that I'm thirty nine
I'm not gonna get better now, I'm not
Gonna be all ripped forty eight, it's fucking over, it's this or a lot worst
For the rest of my life, but the titties were they work 'cause
I used to laugh at guys with titties, that shit ain funny to me anymore
There's was an awful moment I'm just standing there looking all these feelings

It must the same feeling that a teenage girl gets her titties, it must be the same
It's the only thing that a twelve year old girl and a forty year old man have in common
It's that moment, nothing, I've to carry my books like this now, I don't know
I don't, you know what the thing is, I don't give a shit, I don't care about how I look
I'm bald, I'm fat, I don't give a fuck I'm married, I got two kids
My wife hates me, what am I gonna get laid if I lose a few pounds

My wife hates me, what am I gonna get laid if I lose a few pounds
Who fucking cares, like am gonna get mad pussy if I suddenly look better
No, that shit is over for me forever and I'm glad, I really am, I'm relieved now when I see beautiful girl walking on the street

I'm like hey fuck you, I'm getting shit, go fuck somebody else I'll jerk after you probably have a better time
Not like she would have fuck the shit out of me anyway you know, not like she would
Have given me her best, I never really got the best out of a beautiful woman,
I had sex with a few beautiful woman and they didn't really rock out on my dick so much

Whose more like why not, it's more like a grudging fuck in a wired situation with a lot of regret afterwards
I've been there, like I was in Oklahoma city and I saw this beautiful woman, she's hot
And she got really drunk and she fucked me
And the next morning I wake up and she's looking at me she was like oh God, oh Jesus Christ,
I can't believe you all get to fuck me
She was so bumped out I think she felt like she raped herself with my dick
That's so weird to realize that you were somebody's bottom like you were somebody's place that they get to

When they saw you in their bed, they are like fuck okay alright
I got to totally stop all the shit now, fuck, oh I got to go back to school
I got to fucking reconcile with my dad, oh fucking shit