Fear

Hello darkness, my old friend (hello)
Knocking at my door again
Begging me to come outside
Let you back into my life
Now usually I'd be strong enough
To lock the doors and keep 'em shut
But not today, I'm desperate (desperate)
So go ahead and come on in
So go ahead and come on in
So go ahead and come on in

OCD is worse than ever, hands are bleeding
Maybe I should take the pills, don't (whoa)
Know what's going on with me, some days
I actually think I might be schizophrenic (whoa)
Prolly not, but even writing this is making me begin to spiral, oh God (oh-oh-oh)
Made a promise to myself I wouldn't let the fear back in, but then I did though (whoa)
Told the world I was sick of running, then went back to running, what a joke (whoa)
Disappointed? Yeah, me too
I thought I finally had finally made a breakthrough
Guess not (oh-oh-oh)

It's the same song and dance, you've all seen it before
Darkness holds out his hand, then we walk to the floor
Every decision made isn't mine anymore
Like a puppet with strings, I just don't have a choice
What's the truth? What's a lie?
Help me God, help me Lord
Face your fears, dry your eyes
Grandma died, what's the point?
Lost the keys, lost my hope, lost my will, lost my joy
Lost a friend, lost my home, lost my faith, lost my voice

(Desperate) standing back watching my mansion burn to ash
While I hold the gas can
Asking God if He started this fire
Is this what You wanted?
Is this what You wanted?
Make all my hopes and my dreams come to life
Just to lay them to rest
Is this what You wanted?
Is this what You wanted?
Gave me a false sense of peace just to show me what peace really is

Is this what You wanted?
On the verge, on the edge
Is this what You wanted?
Petrified, scared to death
Is this what You wanted?
Praying to God, desperate
Is this what You wanted?
What You wanted

Is this what You wanted?
Hanging on by a thread
Is this what You wanted?
Empty heart, nothing left
Is this what You wanted?
Breaking down, spiraling
Is this what You wanted?
What You wanted

Is this what You wanted?
Standing back (is this what You wanted?)
Watching my mansion (is this what You wanted?)
Burn to ash while I (is this what You wanted?)
What You wanted, is this what You wanted?
Hold the gas can (is this what You wanted?)
Asking God (is this what You wanted?)
If He started this fire (is this what You wanted?)
What You wanted