Argue Naked

Ladies and gentlemen
Please welcome back home to Texas from Blue Collar Comedy
Mr. Bill Engvall!
Thank you so much! Ah!

Oh, you stop
Thank you, Austin, Texas
Welcome to my garage
This is where I go to get away from the honey-do list
You know, I love my wife, but that honey-do thing is getting old
Here's the problem, honey don't wanna do 'em

Don't get me wrong, I'll do my part
I do my chores, but I like to do stuff with machines, you know?
Mow the yard, lawnmower, leaf blow, she wants me to dust
Could that be any more emasculating? No
And it's a pointless job
You wipe something down, the dust goes in the air
It settles on something else, make it fun
Let me put that rag on the end of a hand drill

I'll tell you what, I joke about it, but I'ma tell you something, man
Ah, she runs that house, good Lord, um, yeah, I know, I know, I know
And if you're a married guy, I ain't telling you nothing you don't already know
But if you're single and you're thinking about getting married, listen up
You ain't never gonna win the argument, yeah
If, if guys were a sports team, we'd be over
And that's why, ladies, all we got is this one word, "whatever"
And it don't make us win the argument, we just feel better 'bout losing

My wife hates that word, uh, I'll start, we start arguing and I'll go, "Whatever"
She's like, "No, not whatever", I go, "Yeah, you're gonna win, whatever"
I told my friend, I just said, "I'm so tired of losing the argument"
And he goes, "Well, next time she wants to argue
Tell her you wanna argue naked"
Why would I do that?

He goes, "Well, think about it
She's naked, you're naked"
Argument's over
I'm like, "I'm all for that"
Yeah

So about two weeks ago, she starts getting on me 'bout something
I said, "Hang on, sister," I said, "We're gonna argue, let's do it naked"
She goes, "Fine," she strips down naked, I get naked, and I'm like, "Hey
How you doing?"
She's like, "No, not how you doing, you wanna argue naked
Come on, let's argue naked"
I end up walking away naked, whatever